A Woman Needs A Man The Way A Man Needs A Bicycle

New English Review



For our donors from the UK:



Recent Publications by New English Review Authors
	The Literary Culture of France by J. E. G. Dixon
	Hamlet Made Simple and Other Essays by David P. Gontar
	Farewell Fear by Theodore Dalrymple
	The Eagle and The Bible: Lessons in Liberty from Holy Writ by Kenneth Hanson
	The West Speaks interviews by Jerry Gordon
	Mohammed and Charlemagne Revisited: The History of a Controversy Emmet Scott
	Why the West is Best: A Muslim Apostate's Defense of Liberal Democracy Ibn Warraq
	Anything Goes by Theodore Dalrymple
	Karimi Hotel De Nidra Poller
	The Left is Seldom Right by Norman Berdichevsky
	Allah is Dead: Why Islam is Not a Religion by Rebecca Bynum
	Virgins? What Virgins?: And Other Essays by Ibn Warraq
	An Introduction to Danish Culture by Norman Berdichevsky
	The New Vichy Syndrome: by Theodore Dalrymple
	Jihad and Genocide by Richard L. Rubenstein
	Second Opinion by Theodore Dalrymple
	Not With a Bang But a Whimper: The Politics and Culture of Decline by Theodore Dalrymple
	In Praise of Prejudice: The Necessity of Preconceived Ideas by Theodore Dalrymple
	Defending The West: by Ibn Warraq
	Nations, Language and Citizenship: by Norman Berdichevsky
	Romancing Opiates by Theodore Dalrymple
	Which Koran? by Ibn Warraq
	Our Culture, What's Left of It by Theodore Dalrymple
	What The Koran Really Says by Ibn Warraq
	Life at the Bottom by Theodore Dalrymple
	The Origins of the Koran by Ibn Warraq
	Why I Am Not Muslim by Ibn Warraq
	Spanish Vignettes: An Offbeat Look Into Spain's Culture, Society & History by Norman Berdichevsky
	Leaving Islam Edited by Ibn Warraq
	The Danish-German Border Dispute, 1815-2001: Aspects of Cultural and Demographic Politics by Norman Berdichevsky
	What's Love Got to Do with It?: Emotions and Relationships in Pop Songs by Thomas J. Scheff

The Iconoclast

‹‹ If It's a Criminal Investigation, Call the FBI First

Back from Borat country ››

Tuesday, 30 October 2007

A Woman Needs A Man The Way A Man Needs A Bicycle

From The Telegraph:

Man who had sex with bicycle in court:

By Richard Alleyne

A man has been placed on the sex offenders’ register after being caught trying to have sex with a bicycle. Robert Stewart was discovered in his room by two cleaners at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr, south west Scotland, in October last year.On Wednesday Mr Stewart admitted to sexual breach of the peace in Ayr Sheriff Court, where depute fiscal Gail Davidson described how he had been found by the hostel workers.

She said: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply. They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down. The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex." Both witnesses, who were extremely shocked, notified the hotel manager, who in turn alerted the police. Mr Stewart was placed on the sex offenders’ register but his sentence was deferred until next month. He is not the first man to be convicted of a sexual offence involving an inanimate object, however.

Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs, in 1993.

Submit Your Comment

Posted on 10/30/2007 12:48 PM by Hugh Fitzgerald

Permanent Link | Email Article | Print | Back to Top

Comments

30 Oct 2007

Mary Jackson

Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs, in 1993.

It meant nothing. It was just a bit on the sidewalk.

30 Oct 2007
Hugh Fitzgerald
For god's sake, you're back already? Why do you think I sent you that ticket to Uzbekistan?

30 Oct 2007

Esmerelda Weatherwax
I have been ignoring that story for 3 days, thinking I didn't want to be the one to lower the tone of the site.
What I want to know is was he wearing a helmet?

30 Oct 2007
Paul Blaskowicz

How unfair that this man should be prosecuted and convicted because of two (no doubt, Wee Free Presbyterian and sex-starved) prurient Scotch cleaners.

Whereas this man had it off with all manner of machines, and not only lived to tell the tale, but boasted about it to the millions of readers of The Currant Bun, with nary even a hint of a prosecution from the English authorities.

N.B. He's a Scottie too, and a member of the once-respected Clan Donald. Perhaps there's something in the air in porridge land that goes some way to explaining why the vast majority of engineers who followed the flag of Empire were Scotch: motors, gins, penny-farthings, and suchlike banausia could be handled and fetishised without arousing the suspicion of the kirk elders.

Esmerelda:What I want to know is was he wearing a helmet?

Heaven forbid he had unprotected congress with a velocipede. (Or perhaps he was indeed helmetless, and prosecuted because he contravened the Ayr by-law that protective headgear must be worn when riding a bike.)

Most Recent Posts at The Iconoclast

18-May-2013
The Latest News From Yemen 18-May-2013
Moroccan jailed for Milan synagogue bomb plot 18-May-2013
In Afghanistan, The Sharia Is Upheld, And Women's Rights Denied 18-May-2013
Claude Lanzmann's Film On Benjamin Murmelstein 17-May-2013
In France, Families Receiving About $100,000 A Year In Support Will See A Reduction 17-May-2013
Dror Eydar On What's Wrong With "The Gatekeepers" 17-May-2013
Jordan Is Palestinian 17-May-2013
"Palestinians" In America Funding Their Jihad Using The Ways They Know Best 17-May-2013
The Atmospherics Of Islam - Conspiracy Theories, Aggression, Violence -- Explain The Syrian Outcome 17-May-2013
Who Will Be Master in Europe? 16-May-2013
A Musical Interlude: Thank Your Father (Scrappy Lambert) 16-May-2013
Now Playing At The MEMRI Cineplex 16-May-2013
Libyan Writer Mojahed Busify On Muslims In Europe, The Jizyah, And His Fond Hopes 16-May-2013
'F***' America,' Boston Marathon Bomb Suspect Wrote in Boat: Officials 16-May-2013
They are not like us (continued)

Search The Iconoclast

Enter text, Go to search:

The Iconoclast Posts by Author

Ali Sina (1) Artemis Gordon Glidden (881) Bat Ye'or (4) Brian of London (11) Christina McIntosh (383) David Wemyss (1) Dexter Van Zile (72) DL Adams (21) Dr. Michael Welner (3) Emmet Scott (1) Esmerelda Weatherwax (6379) Fred Taub (1) G. Murphy Donovan (13) Geert Wilders (5) Geoffrey Clarfield (30) Hugh Fitzgerald (15336) Ibn Warraq (3) Jerry Gordon (1425) John Constantine (7) John M. Joyce (348) Jonathan Hausman (3) Kenneth Timmerman (3) Mark Anthony Signorelli (11) Mark Durie (2) Mary Jackson (5004) Matthew Hausman (1) NER (1351) Nicolai Sennels (1) Nidra Poller (21) Nonie Darwish (2) Norman Berdichevsky (60) Rebecca Bynum (5333) Richard Butrick (2) Richard L. Benkin (20) Richard L. Rubenstein (27) Robert Harris (30) Sam Bluefarb (1) Ted Belman (5) The Law (68) Theodore Dalrymple (336) Thomas J. Scheff (4) Walid Phares (5) z - all below inactive (7) z - Ares Demertzis (2) z - Andrew Bostom (74) z - Andy McCarthy (536) z - John Derbyshire (1013) z - Marisol Seibold (26) z - Mark Butterworth (49) z- Robert Bove (1189)

The Iconoclast Archives

2013
January February March April May 2012
January February March April May June July August September October November December 2011
January February March April May June July August September October November December 2010
January February March April May June July August September October November December 2009
January February March April May June July August September October November December 2008
January February March April May June July August September October November December 2007
January February March April May June July August September October November December 2006
January February March April May June July August September October November December

sun

mon

tue

wed

thu

fri

sat

RSS