My sister, several years older than I, went through this. We males merely had to make our bow - so much easier. I remember that she was in alt for weeks beforhand. So silly, really, for the year after she was presented Princess Margaret said, as we all knew, "We had to put a stop to it. Every tart in London was getting in."

Today, of course, every tart in London thinks that she is as good as the Queen and the Court. and every man believes himself to be a Gentleman! Would that that were so!

Oliver.

'the beautiful English legal term "dower"  '  My mother lives in the Dower House on our estate. What is so beautiful about that? All it means is that she is now a widow and has to resign herself to the loss of the man she loved and her previous status. There is nothing beautiful about the word 'dower' - it betokens a wealth of misery and loss. The upside, in our case, is many children who love her and a daughter in law who positively dotes upon her and, much to my enjoyment, uses her words against my much reviled elder brother, deservedly, who, in my opinion, deserves to be taken down a peg or two.

No, ,my dear friend, 'dower' is not a beautiful word. It is ugly and dangerous and nasty. It divides families and makes enemies within tribes. Yours is an uniquely American point of view on this word - a kindly view. In reality there is nothing 'kindly' about 'dower'.

Despite everything, despite all the so-called social change, only three things will get you into the British ruling class - good breeding, sound money, or a decent election result (the sort of vote that means that you're in for life).  Thank God that there are still some certainties in life!

Oliver.