Nothing here but words

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The Iconoclast

‹‹ I Know What B And C Are For, But What About A?

Zaccheus He/Did Climb The Tree/Our Lord To See ››

Wednesday, 14 September 2011

Nothing here but words

An oldie (relatively speaking) from The Onion, that most a-peeling of sites:

WASHINGTON—Unable to rest their eyes on a colorful photograph or boldface heading that could be easily skimmed and forgotten about, Americans collectively recoiled Monday when confronted with a solid block of uninterrupted text.

Dumbfounded citizens from Maine to California gazed helplessly at the frightening chunk of print, unsure of what to do next. Without an illustration, chart, or embedded YouTube video to ease them in, millions were frozen in place, terrified by the sight of one long, unbroken string of English words.

"Why won't it just tell me what it's about?" said Boston resident Charlyne Thomson, who was bombarded with the overwhelming mass of black text late Monday afternoon. "There are no bullet points, no highlighted parts. I've looked everywhere—there's nothing here but words."

Nothing but words???!!!??? :-(( WTF????!!! OMG.

Tags: Words

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Posted on 09/14/2011 12:40 PM by Mary Jackson

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Comments

14 Sep 2011
Arthur Lincoln

Does 'The Onion' host 'Pickled Politics' which reported on the 'leaks' ?

14 Sep 2011

Mary Jackson

Does 'The Onion' host 'Pickled Politics' which reported on the 'leaks' ?

Puns about leaks are not allowed. They confuse the youth of today.

If Marie Lloyd were alive today, she would have changed her song, "She sits among the cabbages and leeks" to "She sits among the cabbages and peas".

15 Sep 2011

Arthur Lincoln

Confucius considered that the woman who cooks beans and peas in the same pot is very unhygienic.

15 Sep 2011

reactionry

Bean & Nothingness

That woman must have a stirring tale of peas, porridge, pot to piss in.

- Greasy Joan of Arc

"Bean & Nothingness"? - As in "human bean"? Look, Joey; Kidneys! Come back here or I'll settle your hash! - Alan "Master" Bates aka Professor Ben Butley

Tags: stirring tail, wall ass, Stirling Bridge, Stamford Bridge, stirring Hastings puddin' tame, Sterling Pound: bridge to the Euro, Pound-off better than Ezra, Greasy Joan, keelhaul your bleedin' arse over here

15 Sep 2011
Arthur Lincoln

Ah! Joan of Arc. Was she the wife of Noah?

15 Sep 2011

reactionry

Ad Thaliarchum

Or: Ad For Joan of Arc Kidney Beans

Or: An Excellent Adventure On Crete

Ha-ha. That was our favorite line from "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure." We were distressed by Bill & Ted's pronunciation, however, of "Socrates." Lawd only knows how they would have pronounced "Mount Soracte."

On Noah Count Yours,

Paddy Fermor & General Kreipe

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