30 Aug 2007
Welcome To Ekwilism, Mon
Or: Surfing Jamaica's Twang Ten
"Nothing will come of no ting*." - comment by a member of the Jamaican Bobsled Team** on the off-the-field prospects of Russian "women" athletes. (See Foreigners Around The World, reproduced by Derb)
"Nothing will come of mothing." -probably not from a novel probably not for the "Average Man" and probably not "ninety percent" padukking.
*Last winter I saw a public service thing promulgating prophylactics painted upon a building in Jamaica: Protect Ya Ting
**Ironically, the expensively frozen training course for the bobsled team, like its manned space program which had hoped to market the island's orange-flavored Twang, ended as it began - in an oblong puddle. Which reminds one of the one about Jason Strugnell, who had tattooed "Wendy Cope" on a member not standing in Parliament, meeting E. Jamaica "Heart" Trobbmon, aged 17 3/4", in a men's room.....
31 Aug 2007
The World According To AARP
Or: Greasy Joan* Doth Be An Old Prune
(*-sigh- wish it were "June", or late June, late Joan)
(I woke up this morning with, literally, a Twang, but more about that; fortuitous for me, though probably not for the Reader, later -well - much later)
"Speak again"? As in "Speak, Hugh, speak!"? As in "woof-woof", rollover Beethoven, rollover retirement accounts into the Hedge Fund, money pit, ditch, ha-ha, whatevah. Or, not to put too fine a point (with a No. 2 red pencil or EB White-Out on Mary's monitor) onnit, was that one already made by Hugh? -By Hugh who might have thought it infra dig** or unnecessary or not worth the Trouble to reference Willy's "Every dog has its day" -which is to say, not every day.
And did Trouble, perhaps after, or well (see 1984), shortly thereafter (see wot Hugh doesn't believe in) , come after Housman after hearing, "Here, Trouble! Here, Trouble!"? Well, well, well, Well whatevah, but I don't think Hugh would hear of it here. -here, Hugh here Hugh, what didja' 'spect, a clarihew?
As for me, I'm the sort of lout who upon reading Will, will shout out (See Dick, See Jane, See Out! Out! Damn Spot! -Bad Spot!) that his stuff is fulla' cliches. I won't get a crappy 15 minutes, much less a diem, unless I go like Ngo (see Vietnam). -Unworthy of a Viking funeral with a dog at my feet allah (See or mark off the last post of the dead Frog put at the foot of the funerary bed) Beau Geste -[though my eldest daughter wants one -more about that -well -never - is never good for you?] Put me in a hole, or the dog house or a Skinner kennel. I'm just Johnson's (see Boswell) dog talking. -A Yank in King Fitzgerald's Court spouting alien corn (see Ruth 'n Roswell) -Just a peasant passing gas en passant into pants too short.....
Now will I soon swell the rout
Of louts who wore their trousers out,
A Passer whose renown'd anus
And whose name died before his canis
-this comes many horrible years after Housman, though it doesn't come off well enough, and I should leave well enough alone, having been to that well enough.
**See the "digs", (as in "Kenya Dig It?" by Arap "L'Etat C'est" Moi) of the St. Mary's Burnham Deepdale thread. Which disrespected domestic food animals, professional sex workers, geezers and hags and has earned the everlasting contempt of the harridans of the agelast AARP) in that it's only a Quantas leap from a quarrelsome Koala:
"...he digs sows, hoes [sic] and prunes."
23 Jan 2012
I really wish there were more arictels like this on the web.