Well, I didn't take the Viagra as the emails urged me to, and I wasn't "good in bad". So, just as the emails predicted, my wife has gone. The question is: where?

My wife's gone to the West Indies
-Jamaica?
-No, she went of her own accord.

That's the original one, now prepare for a deluge of variations....

-My wife's gone to the Indian coast
-Goa?
-Phwoar! I'll say!

-My wife's gone to St Petersburg.
-Is she Russian?
-No, she's taking her time.

-My wife's gone to Northern Italy
-Genoa?
-I should think so, we've been married for 20 years.

-My wife's had an accident on a volcano
-Krakatoa? -No.
She broke her leg.

-My wife's gone mad in Venezuela
-Caracas
-Yes, absolutely loopy

-My wife's gone to the Welsh border.
-Wye?
-Search me.

-My wife's gone to the botanical gardens.
-Kew?
-Yes, it was rather busy.

-My wife's gone to Malawi
-Lilongwe?
-Yes, about 5000 miles

-My wife's got an upset tummy in Laos
-Inkhazi?
-Yes, constantly.

-My wife's gone on a singing tour of South Korea
-Seoul?
-No, R&B

-My wife caught a cold in the Gulf
-Qatar?
-Yes, she was coughing up greenies for weeks

-My wife went to a very bad concert in South East Asia
-Singapore?
-Terrible. And the rest of the band sucked too.

-My wife went on a sailing course in Poole
-In Dorset?
-Yes, she'd recommend it to anyone.

-My wife smoked a joint near Manchester
-In Hale?