The Wife of Bath had one answer.  This lady has another one.  I haven't laughed so much for ages.

Sample quote:  "I feel envy for genuinely lusty women. I met one who described herself as a juicy tomato. She said, 'If you were a vegetable, what would you be?' I said, 'I don't know, maybe a celery stalk, or a rutabaga.'  It sure wasn't a juicy tomato."