Crazy Crapitalism

by Richard Kostelanetz (September 2014)

Amazon.com offered me one, especially with a credit on a current order, I agreed to accept its Master Card. That was a mistake.

Suffice to say that if American Express doesn’t want to take its cut on money I spend, it won’t get it. One beneficial result of free-market capitalism is offerings us customers alternative options. As I now pay major bills directly by checks, Amex is voluntarily losing my business. Anyone owning its stock should consider AmEx as a company that easily screws itself, small time with me, bigger time probably elsewhere, all while paying Eperian and the like to be screwed. No individual can make a winner of a chronic loser.

So I accepted an unsolicited credit-card offer from Capital One, rarely using it, nonetheless paying monthly bills in full. One trouble came when they mailed me another card. Not thinking otherwise, I cut up the previous card and used that new one. That was a mistake on my part unknown to me until I received bill for $39 for opening a new account that I didn’t need and thus certainly did not authorize.

Meanwhile, CapOne is sending me dunning letters for the initial account. The principal problem with these solicitations is their stating only a “new balance” without explaining how it was established. Indeed, between the charges itemized and the money they demanded was a few hundred dollars. Over the telephone, in a conversation lasting well over an hour, because my complaint was forwarded to a supervisor, they claimed it was for other purchases made in the past and thus not acknowledged in the latest statement. Since I customarily pay in full upon receipt of every statement invoice, I asked them to find the missing charges explaining that, as my checks that have category numbers in their lower left corners, I can only pay identifiable expenses. I have no code for expenses invented by Capital One, no one else.

One recurring problem with CO’s is “customer service” people are so stupid, so repetitive, that telephone calls to them customarily take over an hour, sometimes as long as 90 minutes. People working in call centers outside the USA can afford to waste your time with repetition after repetition. Smart though this strategy might seem in the short run it finally hurts CO, as a customer learns he must set aside in advance at least an hour before dialing. So I called again on 6 December, after midnight, entered my account number, etc., to the customarily prompts, only to hear that CO was closed. Surprised as well as annoyed, I left another message asking again for a verifiable statement. To no surprise, nothing of the sort ever came.

—that I’d recommend prosecution not of underlings but of top officials, the CO chiefs who must finally be held responsible for such recurring mischief, if only to prevent everyone there from misbehaving again. Until then, my nickname for these guys, by which they should be known, is CD for Capital Dun.

It turns out that the NYS Attorney General must have had a wrong address, because Texas Consumer Assistance replied that my “complaint does not fall under the jurisdiction of our office.” I was further advised to “direct all future correspondence regarding this issue” to Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, PO Box 4503, Iowa City, IA 52244.” This I did on February 27, 2012. Need I be the first to question why Judy Blumberg and her New York State Attorney General colleagues didn’t have the correct address for my complaint? Am I getting a run-around?

Some dunning agency (at 8002605570), calls my home telephone a few times each day, no doubt programmed for relentless harassment. Whenever I answer, asking for the caller’s name to appear in the article I’m writing, he or she hangs up on me. None of them, may I guess, want to be identified as the fall-guy, the chump, for the CO bosses above him. They must know that they are participating is an illicit activity for which, living outside the USA, they cannot be prosecuted, though their bosses can and should be. Were any of them to stay on the telephone, I would ask to be connected to his superior and then his superior, etc., always writing down whatever identifying information they give me. Widen the net.

Messers Nelson and Watson, if they aren’t ghosts, should be prosecuted for attempting fraud, beginning with revocation of the permit # 116152 they claim to have from the NYC Dept. of Consumer Affairs. If indeed such a permit exists and is not revoked, then the folks at NYC/DCA should be terminated, if not prosecuted, as co-conspirators in an attempted fraud. After sending a copy of this essay in progress to the NYC/DCA and to Mayor Bloomberg’s office, I received from Daniel K. Kuzmitski, “Director of Training and Compliance Nelson, Watson” which read in part: “It appears that he is disputing the validity of this account. We have closed and returned the account back to our client, Capital One Services, LLC, as a dispute and he will not be contacted again by Nelson, Watson.” I asked the NYC Dept of Consumer Affairs to revoke this license to prevent NS from indulging in such mischief again, but never got a reply. For now at least NS must think it has a license to send.

On 21 Sept. 2012, I found on my answering machine, 9:05 am, a call from 207-512-5389 with an aggressive, thuggish voice telling me, “My name’s Brad Fuller, I’m calling from Bryant, Hodge, and Associates, a professional debt-collection or assert-recovery corporation” demanding that “you or your legal representation” call 888-675-4485 and press 1 “to speak to a live agent.” Instead, I pressed 8 to speak with whomever called me from the 207 number, got an answering machine, and asked to verify who hired him. As no one called me back, this may have been a fake. Let no one doubt that debt-collection attracts shady characters.

Also in late January 2013 I received a letter from the Rodier Law Firm at 1501 Broadway (NY), which I recall as a building with many small offices. More than four decades ago, it housed a human answering service before I purchased my home machine. This letter informed me of “A Lawsuit Filed against you by Capital One Bank (USA), N. A. for $1,315.59.” This was news to me, who hadn’t heard before of “Case # CV-043058-12/QU.” Nonetheless, the Rodier firm urged me to call them for representation.. How did Rodier know about me? Directly from Capital One? Were they in cahoots, as we say? 

there not many examples apparently true. For more negative information, see: http://www.ripoffreport.com/r/Northland-Group-Inc/Minneapolis-Minnesota-55439/Northland-Group-Inc-Scam-attempted-ripoff-Hoax-Minneapolis-Minnesota-490771. Another webpage (http://www.complaintsboard.com/complaints/northland-group-inc-minneapolis-minnesota-c225823.html) itemizes bad dealings before one victim concludes with this advice: “Do not pay to these individuals. They are evil, and they will be punished soon. If you have been harassed by them, do sue them.” Why such white-collar thugs should still be in business and why Crapital Dun should commission them are questions I justly pose to white-collar law enforcement in this country.

Further Internet searching tells me, to no surprise, that this “Group, Inc.” is actually not in Minneapolis but in Edina, MN. As no individual names appear on its webpages, can’t we conclude that no one wants identification with such a sleazy operation. Just as I was ready to conclude that Crapital Dun had run out of guys stupid enough to swallow their sword, Northfield popped up (or down). So copies of my revised critique went out to them and the NYC Department of Consumer Affairs, along with an invitation to reply to me before this appears in print. Don’t be surprised to find him/them/it no less dumb than earlier recipients who, once caught crooked, choose not to respond.

And just as this revision was set to appear, yet another clawing hand arrived in my mail. Calling itself ARS National Services, Inc, this claims “New York City License: 1020790,” though its address is a P.O. Box in Escondido, CA. Perhaps the most curious details about the ARS (not ASS) letter is these guys in Southern California, if that is indeed where they are, offer me the same amounts with the same purported discount as the Group in Northfield, MN. Perhaps they are the same guys with a different name and a different license number from the NYC Dept. of Consumer Affairs.

It will be instructive to see, once this narrative of Crazy Crapitalism is circulated, who sues whom for screwing what? Stay tuned as the conspiracy unravels. Meanwhile, anyone owning shares of Crapital Dun should consider that their company, unable to present a credible invoice, was spending thousands of dollars screwing itself.

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