Four Philosophers

by David Solway (September 2023)

Barroom Brawl, N.C. Wyeth, 1915

I would like to throttle Aristotle.
Crack him on the noggin with a bottle.
I’d do it not a little but a lottle.
I would like to throttle Aristotle.
–
I would like to rough up Tom Aquinas
Who is touted by the sages as the finest.
I’d like to poke a sharp quill up his sinus.
O how I’d like to rough up Tom Aquinas.
–
And as for that curmudgeon Schopenhauer,
I’d like to toss him headlong from a tower.
I’ve had enough of his depressive glower
For he was born in a most evil hour.
–
I’d like to bitch slap Bertrand Russell
Though I doubt he’s even worth the tussle.
I cannot bear to hear his pages rustle.
I’d really like to bitch slap Bertrand Russell.
–
There are more philosophers than merely four
Adept at how to obfuscate and bore.
But I have neither time, and what is more,
I have a thousand poets to deplore.
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Table of Contents

David Solway’s latest book is Notes from a Derelict Culture, Black House Publishing, 2019, London. A CD of his original songs, Partial to Cain, appeared in 2019.

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