The Fragility of Close Relationships
by Kenneth Francis (February 2025)
Now that Donald Trump abolished DEI and other daft organizational frameworks, the death of Wokery cannot come soon enough.
It should come as no surprise that pragmatism and Realpolitik eventually turns up when unintentional consequences arise. Hegel called this the ‘Cunning of Reason.’ A good example were the L.A. fires and the DEI hires running around like the Keystone Cops. (The L.A. Armageddon looked like a scene from Nathanael West’s 1939 novel The Day of the Locust. L.A. has more disaster movies and stories about a city than any other place in the world. Maybe God is trying to tell the Hollywood Babylon residents something.)
As for the fragility of allegiances, considering many Dems turning against each other: do not think for one moment that there are permanent cozy relationships amongst the evildoers in this world, or anyone else for that matter.
There is no such thing as honour amongst corrupt rogues, as well as other reprobates who ostensibly appear to be working together in perfect harmony. The same applies in other walks of life less degenerate or authoritarian in nature.
As an example, consider groups and singers like The Eagles, The Beatles, and Simon and Garfunkel—initially best buddies with shared many commonalities, but subsequently descended into interpersonal feuds and even profound hatred.
Sigmund Freud, despite his many flaws, had a term for it—the “narcissism of small differences.” This arises when hypersensitivity to minor differences amongst relationships rises to the surface (check-out Roger Simon’s essay, ‘The Great Fake H1-B Controversy’.)
I heard of a once-dedicated friendly duo who campaigned and shared a commonality in political and social affairs, who recently split-up in an acrimonious way, with one accusing the other of being a traitor and coward. No one who knew them ever dreamed of this happening.
This was also seen amongst family and friends, where major break-ups occurred during the Covid lockdowns and forced vaccine tyranny. Even members of the British Royal Family have, in recent times, broke allegiances and split-up over petty differences.
In one tragic case of initial political and social allegiance, the result ended in murder. I am referring to the tragic case of journalist James Caldwell (1931-1978) when he went to visit his hero—mass-murderer Pol Pot, in Cambodia in 1978.
Caldwell, a then Labour Party candidate, was a Scottish Marxist who hated Western foreign policy and Capitalism. In December 1978, he was a member of one of the few groups of Western journalists and writers invited to visit Cambodia since the Khmer Rouge had taken power in April 1975 (“Year Zero”).
Caldwell had a private audience with the demonic Pot and, after the meeting, he came back to the Phnom Penh guesthouse where he was murdered that night, allegedly by Pot’s guards. The motives for Caldwell’s murder, believed Caldwell’s family members, is that he was killed on the orders of Pol Pot, possibly following a disagreement between the two during their meeting. Disagreeing with Pol Pot would be akin to calling Joseph Stalin a little jerk in front of his face while he’s loading his revolver (check-out Theodore Dalrymple’s account of the Caldwell story in ‘A Kind Word for Stupid.”)
Politics aside and beyond the Killing Fields of Cambodia, many young men listening to the rants of a new date trashing her former boyfriends probably think to themselves: “Oh, I’m probably next.” And the worldwide massive statistics for divorce is testament to the fragility of close relationships. I’ve often wondered what the eighth man to marry the late Hollywood actress, Elizabeth Taylor, said to himself.
Despite this, I still believe in marriage and the Nuclear Family and the reality of the external world and biology. And so do the New Atheists, who were once die-hard PC champions in bed with the Woke Left but are now distancing themselves from such daft ideology.
The Freedom From Religion Foundation (FFRF), on December 27, 2024, said it supports LGBTQIA-plus rights. Since then, the Pope of Atheism, Richard Dawkins, and Steven Pinker, have resigned from the Honorary Board, along with another evolutionary biologist atheist, Jerry Coyne.
In a letter to the executive, Coyne wrote: “This was in fact the third time that I and others have tried to warn the FFRF about the dangers of expanding its mission into political territory. But it is now clear that this is exactly what you intend to do. Our efforts have been fruitless, and if there are bad consequences I don’t want to be connected with them.”
This is Hegel’s ‘Cunning of Reason’ 101. Who would have ever thought that these lifelong anti-Christian Lefties would shift allegiances and fall out with each other and embrace the logic of key cultural Christian values? There was also a split in the LGBTQ alliance a couple of years ago, when the ‘T’s’ entered the initial cluster and fell out with the TERF ‘L’s.’ Even some ‘G’s’ are at odds with the ‘T’s.’
Regarding relationship in all walks of life, be they romantic, friendships, business or political, my advice is based on a term from the great economist Thomas Sowell, whose best solution for negotiating for the most reasonable success in partnerships is “Trade-offs.” Weighing up the pros and cons and aiming for the pros, while accepting the cons, as the best viable option in a fallen world.
In politics, it is called Realpolitik, or pragmatism, when choosing the lesser of other undesirable options.
In romantic companionships, an example is a man in a loving relationship with a woman, who does not share his world view on 60% of things, but makes up for it on 40% of things more endearing and desirable to the man.
Relationships and friendships can never be perfect. Author Tanith Lee wrote: “I hate the way, once you start to know someone, care about them, their behaviour can distress you, even when it’s unreasonable and not your fault, even if you were really trying to be careful, tactful.” (The Claidi Journals.)
As the saying goes, “Familiarity [sometimes] breeds contempt.” I put emphasis on the word ‘sometimes,’ as we have to give people the benefit of the doubt when befriending them, as that “Et tu, Brute?” moment may never happen.
Only God knows if friendships will last. He even knew in advance when the first break-up in spiritual kinship occurred before Adam and Eve inhabited the Earth, when Lucifer and his minions rebelled and were expelled from Heaven, a classic example of pride before the mother of all falls.
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Kenneth Francis is a Contributing Editor at New English Review. For the past 30 years, he has worked as an editor in various publications, as well as a university lecturer in journalism. He also holds an MA in Theology and is the author of The Little Book of God, Mind, Cosmos and Truth (St Pauls Publishing) and, most recently, The Terror of Existence: From Ecclesiastes to Theatre of the Absurd (with Theodore Dalrymple) and Neither Trumpets Nor Violins (with Theodore Dalrymple and Samuel Hux).