Xanthippe
by David P. Gontar (May 2013)
And will you, being a man of your breeding, be married
a good priest that can tell you what marriage is: this fellow
will prove a shrunk panel, and like green timber, warp, warp.
* * * *
LYSIS
Well, Socrates, I guess you should congratulate us.
SOCRATES
Us, Lysis?
LYSIS
SOCRATES
Really, Lysis?
LYSIS
SOCRATES
LYSIS
SOCRATES
I think so, Lysis, for I would have to tell her the reason, and she might not believe me.
LYSIS
SOCRATES
LYSIS
SOCRATES
LYSIS
No doubt. And what kind of wine do you think we should drink tonight, Socrates?
SOCRATES
Whatever you deem best, my friend, as long as you are paying the bill. And yet, I still doubt I can attend.
LYSIS
SOCRATES
LYSIS
SOCRATES
LYSIS
Oh, Socrates, can you be serious? In a few hours Charmides and I will appear before the priest who will give us his blessing. That is the marriage. Tell Xanthippe that if you must.
SOCRATES
LYSIS
How little she understands, Socrates. Crude reproduction is not marriage, for people are married first and then, if they wish, they have children.
SOCRATES
LYSIS
SOCRATES
LYSIS
SOCRATES
LYSIS
SOCRATES
So you admit that love is not essential in the matter?
LYSIS
How could it be, Socrates? We cannot test couples to determine the quality of their affections. If they choose to exercise their matrimonial rights, that is sufficient. Any two people may marry. Period.
SOCRATES
Any two did you say?
LYSIS
Yes, certainly
SOCRATES
LYSIS
Of course.
SOCRATES
Then, as a definition of marriage, to say it is some connection (still undefined) between two people is a bit arbitrary. It could be three, four or more, correct?
LYSIS
But not among civilized people, surely, Socrates.
SOCRATES
You mean you disapprove of what we can call polygamy and polyandry.
LYSIS
Indeed, I do.
SOCRATES
And out of mere curiosity, my good fellow, by what principle do you judge marriage of multiple persons to be unacceptable and marriage between two men to be morally satisfactory?
LYSIS
Socrates, I hope you mean to be respectful in this conversation. The love I share with Charmides is a sacred thing.
SOCRATES
LYSIS
SOCRATES
LYSIS
Rights are not abstract puzzles, Socrates. They are the most obvious things in the world. All citizens must be treated fairly.
SOCRATES
Indubitably, indubitably. Let justice and fairness control. But are these rights self-evident?
LYSIS
If anything is self-evident, Socrates, it is the right of each man to select a spouse.
SOCRATES
Just one spouse.
LYSIS
Correct.
SOCRATES
LYSIS
Of course. And in this matter, the law must be changed to accommodate the right.
SOCRATES
In other words, the right must be promulgated and made universal.
LYSIS
SOCRATES
And a right is a claim on society which should be acted on. Is it so?
LYSIS
Yes.
SOCRATES
Universally.
LYSIS
Yes.
SOCRATES
But my dear friend, you must be joking with me.
LYSIS
SOCRATES
But, what would happen if this new law did in fact become acted on in the universal sense?
LYSIS
SOCRATES
But if all men married men and all women married women, you admit that no children would be born.
LYSIS
I suppose, but that would never happen. The baser instincts are always with us, Socrates. A few indiscretions might occur here and there.
SOCRATES
LYSIS
SOCRATES
But you agreed that any right must be capable of universalizing, did you not?
LYSIS
In theory, Socrates, not in fact.
SOCRATES
Perhaps what we are seeking to disclose are our operative principles.
LYSIS
Who knows, Socrates? One can never predict how you will wander.
SOCRATES
Have I strayed, my good fellow? All I asked is that you tell me the meaning of marriage.
LYSIS
Socrates, you grow tedious. You yourself answered your own question when you referred to a lifetime commitment. Marriage is that lifetime pledge between two consenting adults.
SOCRATES
A pledge of what, Lysis?
LYSIS
What else, Socrates? Loyalty and devotion. And there is the end of the matter, if you will let it be. But knowing you, Socrates, I fear that you must tamper with everything, making no end to the simplest elements of life.
SOCRATES
Of course, you are familiar with the tale of King Antiochus of Antioch, are you not? You remember him?
LYSIS
SOCRATES
LYSIS
Yes, he was.
SOCRATES
Well, might he have legitimated that union by marrying her?
LYSIS
God, forbid, Socrates! What an idea, it offends all decency.
SOCRATES
And yet it fits your definition of marriage, does it not? Antiochus and his daughter were of age, consenting adults. Had they publicly pledged mutual fidelity, that would surely have merited the blessing of Lysis.
LYSIS
SOCRATES
LYSIS
SOCRATES
LYSIS
SOCRATES
Yes, but those were not discussions of marriage, were they?
LYSIS
Socrates, this chatter is beginning to weary me. We go round and round, getting nowhere.
SOCRATES
LYSIS
If you say so.
SOCRATES
LYSIS
And never meet?
SOCRATES
Correct.
LYSIS
SOCRATES
LYSIS
The very idea is a caricature, Socrates.
SOCRATES
LYSIS
Can you really compare that horrid spectacle with what I and Charmides are doing?
SOCRATES
Do not men have the right to choose their spouses, Lysis?
LYSIS
Of course. But why twist it all around?
SOCRATES
Not to be bull-headed, my friend, but merely to help me understand your philosophy.
LYSIS
SOCRATES
LYSIS
Proceed, Master.
SOCRATES
LYSIS
Socrates, those who come together in matrimony . . .
SOCRATES
Or is it patrimony, Lysis . . . ?
LYSIS
Please have the goodness not to interrupt, Socrates.
SOCRATES
Sorry.
LYSIS
Those who come together in holy wedlock do so irrespective of governmental policy. If, after marrying, a boon is conferred on them due to law, so be it.
SOCRATES
Even if they neither love nor live together?
LYSIS
It would seem so, Socrates. For the people may take advantage of any institution, as criminals with ill-gotten gain take advantage of banks. We can require and test for neither love nor cohabitation in our granting of marriages, for as you imply, there are many marriages lacking these features.
SOCRATES
LYSIS
That is correct.
SOCRATES
Even if they harbor an undisclosed intention to dissolve the match in a limited time?
LYSIS
That too, Socrates.
SOCRATES
Here is a man whose courage matches his convictions. But let me ask you, Lysis, do we not all seek to care, not only for others, but for ourselves as well?
LYSIS
Of course.
SOCRATES
And so we perform for ourselves prudent ministrations, ordering our diet, clothing, exercise and daily routine so as to preserve and nurture ourselves, even as a caring friend or kinsmen would do?
LYSIS
Yes, again, Socrates.
SOCRATES
And there may even be occasions in the absence of others when we have pleasured ourselves physically, true?
LYSIS
SOCRATES
Nothing but the evident proposition that we stand in a certain relation to ourselves as a caring administrator.
LYSIS
And?
SOCRATES
Well, standing in relation to ourselves in that manner, is there any reason why such a one, desiring assistance from the public fisc might not marry himself to obtain it?
LYSIS
Marry himself? Is that what you said?
SOCRATES
Yes, indeed, Lysis. For what, on your principles of unrestricted freedom, is there to prevent it?
LYSIS
SOCRATES
LYSIS
Charmides and I stand squarely with the people and their right to choose.
SOCRATES
That is excellent. You must be proud to be the leader fighting for human pride and dignity.
LYSIS
If you put it that way, yes we are.
SOCRATES
Not to try your patience, Lysis, but suppose that two men thus situated in their soi disant married state decide to adopt an orphaned child as a sign of their union.
LYSIS
Very well. Is that not a blessing to the community?
SOCRATES
LYSIS
What do you mean?
SOCRATES
Well, Lysis, you have often heard our eminent politicians and philosophers proclaim that the family is the foundation of society, have you not?
LYSIS
Yes, certainly.
SOCRATES
And for that reason we wish our families to be as strong as possible.
LYSIS
Yes, indeed.
SOCRATES
LYSIS
So long as they fulfill their duties it is.
SOCRATES
But in the conventional marriage between a man and a woman, a man who becomes a father in the course of years will see himself in his son, will he not? There will be physical resemblance and other affinities of conduct, inclination, and ability, correct?
LYSIS
I suppose, Socrates.
SOCRATES
And on that basis the father will teach the son.
LYSIS
Yes, of course.
SOCRATES
And the mother, likewise, will instruct her daughter?
LYSIS
Yes.
SOCRATES
LYSIS
Yes.
SOCRATES
They will hear about the deeds of their ancestors.
LYSIS
Yes.
Do not such natural bonds factors strengthen a marriage and the family as well?
LYSIS
SOCRATES
What I mean, Lysis, is simply that raising the biological child provides an added incentive to strive for that child and make the sacrifices necessary for its health, happiness and prosperity.
LYSIS
Is there scientific proof of this, Socrates?
SOCRATES
Is there scientific proof of the wish of a mother and father to become grandparents at a certain point, Lysis?
LYSIS
Not that I know of. But I grant that wish exists.
SOCRATES
Yes, it does. And if two women married to each other are raising a young orphan boy taken into their home in an adoptive manner, can they look forward to seeing their own qualities of flesh and blood exhibited, as a prologue to immortality, in their grandchildren?
LYSIS
A mere technicality, Socrates. The state benefits from giving the abandoned child a home.
SOCRATES
That is true. But the bonds that secure that home are weaker than those of couples who can witness their successors in flesh and blood, correct? So that in conditions of strife, social upheaval or war, the state will be more likely to endure.
LYSIS
Sounds like mere speculation to me, Socrates.
SOCRATES
And if such marriages as you favor were to become more and more common, sweeping aside conventional ones, what impact would that have on the state as a whole? Would it not tend to decay, as fewer and fewer children were born, and fewer and fewer of those who were born were brought up by their natural parents?
LYSIS
Socrates, your fears are quite overblown. Surrogate parents care for their children as do those you term natural. Only time will tell how the new world we are bringing into existence will fare.
SOCRATES
LYSIS
SOCRATES
And so I shall, Lysis. Farewell. And may the gods watch over you . . . and all of us.
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