OUCH! On The Job Training

by Reg Green

On the heels of a report in OUCH! (June 27) that Vladimir Putin was influenced in shuffling his advisers by the success of In-N-Out hamburgers, comes a bulletin from the Kremlin that, now the jails have been cleaned out of violent criminals willing to be cannon fodder in Ukraine, it is studying a proposal to make military service there more acceptable by allowing Russian soldiers to commute some months of their enlistment into community service in a fast-food company. “We wouldn’t need any training,” a soldier who is considering the proposal said, “We’ve already been in a meat grinder more than a year.”