Shock: Parrot Murdered in Florida

The parrot community was shocked to learn of the cold-blooded murder of one of their own by a Florida woman who shot the beautiful and innocent bird, who was valedictorian in his class and had planned to become the first bird in space, with a Glock handgun.

“I know I speak for the entire parrot community when I say, this will not stand and justice must be served,” said long-time NER parrot contributor, Tolstoy.

Parrots across the nation carried placards and screamed, “Locker her up!” remembering a phrase they had picked up during the 2016 election.

The name of the deceased has not been released pending notification of family members.